Words of the Specials echoing in my head, it’s time to ask the difficult question that no one else seems to be broaching: Is it time to admit that Christchurch’s time is up, and that the whole city should be abandoned? While they might not like us even raising the subject, should we not at least debate the question? With apologies to our ChCh readers, let’s have a look at the Pros and Cons…

Pre-Earthquake reasons for Christchurch to exist:
Pleasant, vaguely Englishy city, complete with Avon river.
Nearby Lyttleton is the settlement site of first four ships to Canterbury.
Major business centre of the South Island.
Free-draining stoney ground that grow lovely Oak trees, rose gardens and wheatfields.
Stable and reliable location for business, academia, and manufacturing.
Nice place for old white haired people to retire to, in crispy sunshine.
Not many brown people for those that are scared of them.
Lovely old buildings giving authentic sense of heritage.
Lots of Churches give it a god-fearing atmosphere.
Lots of roads on which to drive a hotted-up car.
Good business with tourists, especially Japanese, who come to get married in old churches and see penguins in Antarctic Centre.

Post-Earthquake reasons for Christchurch to exist:
Pleasant, vaguely Englishy Quake-ridden hell-hole city, complete with silted-up Avon river.
Nearby Lyttleton is the settlement site of first four ships to Canterbury destroyed.
Major business centre of the South Island. No chance of much business happening for quite some time.
Free-draining stoney ground that grow lovely Oak trees, rose gardens and wheatfields. Nasty silty liquefaction everywhere, and the pollution of farmland with dairy cattle.
Stable and reliable location for business, academia, and manufacturing.
Nice place for old white haired people to retire to, in crispy sunshine.
Not many brown people for those that are scared of them. Not many people at all, really.
Lovely old buildings giving authentic sense of heritage. Old Dungas are history.
Lots of Churches give it a god-fearing atmosphere. Sorry, no churches left.
Lots of roads on which to drive a hotted-up car. Low-slung suspension not working quite so well on those metre deep potholes is it?
Good business with tourists, especially Japanese, who come to get married in old churches and see penguins in Antarctic Centre.

Oh dear. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be doing very well. I’m seriously worried about the city – and whether it really should be rebuilt at all. Obviously I’m not the only one either. Let’s take stock:

The Old Heritage Buildings are – well, basically, gone. Or going, going, gone, if not Gone yet. Hell hath no fury like a Brownlee in possession of a bulldozer.

The New Tall Buildings are either leaning, or have no stairs. In any case, apparently:
A – There are no spaces to rent
B – No one wants to rent the space anyway
C – There are no people to rent the space to
D – For the last 2 months, and next 2 years, you probably can’t even get to the buildings anyway.

The Middle-aged, Middle-sized buildings are munted (the word does seem appropriate to me – ie drunken, stumbly, and unpleasant to be around).

So: is there any point in the city hanging around? There are a number of empty shops elsewhere in the country – in Wellington, in Auckland, in Dunedin, in Otarahanga. Would it not be better to export the people from Canterbury, and install them into the cities that need them here in NZ, rather than let them go off to Oz and pay taxes there? We’ll have the hard-working entrepreneurs here in Wellington please! Auckland can have the bogans! If they are going to take 2-10 years to rebuild and reopen the central city, is there really any point in the CBD being rebuilt at all? Haven’t all the shoppers gone to shop in the suburban mega-malls anyway? (Although, several of those are pretty banged up / closed down as well).

We’ve had ghost towns before – places like St Bathans in Central Otago, once used to have 4000 miners and 40+ pubs – now has a population of 1 pub and about 20 people. Blackball, on the West Coast, has 1200 people and now has only a few handfuls. Detroit, a city of nearly 2 million in 1950, now has only about 700,000 and is steadily dropping still. Are we too scared to even discuss the undeniable fact that Christchurch may be – shock – horror – not worth the effort? Should this town be coming like a ghost town?

This town, is coming like a ghost town
All the clubs have been closed down
This place, is coming like a ghost town
Bands won’t play no more
too much fighting on the dance floor

Do you remember the good old days
Before the ghost town?
We danced and sang,
And the music played inna de boomtown

This town, is coming like a ghost town
Why must the youth fight against themselves?
Government leaving the youth on the shelf
This place, is coming like a ghost town
No job to be found in this country
Can’t go on no more
The people getting angry

This town, is coming like a ghost town
This town, is coming like a ghost town
This town, is coming like a ghost town
This town, is coming like a ghost town