I honestly did think this was a belated April Fools prank, yes indeed. I mean, a long tunnel, under Wellington, going from the Terrace tunnel right through to Wellington Road – and saving more than 60 seconds, but quite probably not the 10-15 minutes they are talking about. Let’s face it, the boy is still wet behind the ears and hasn’t really got a single clue in his head, but there are many things about this that are totally incongruous. Shall I name a few?

Long Shot

• Sacking all the LGWM team one week, and then recalling them the week after, to redesign the thing you told them they couldn’t do in the first place.

• Having a tunnel that zooms underneath all the best part of the city, to go to where?

• Carefully mapping all the underwater springs in Te Aro, and then propose to go and fuck them all up with a massive underwater underground motorway.

• Destroying the entire infrastructure of the Wellington Civil Service to save some money…

• Then spending all that money for Tax cuts, and then having the cheek to propose a….

• Long tunnel that would cost more than the rest of the other Roads of Simeon Existence all put together…

• I mean, what are they saying about the cost? Wasn’t a short tunnel going to cost a billion? Now this one is 4 times longer, so a starting guess might be $4 billion?

• But then isn’t the standard QS’s way of doing things, to think of a number and then double it? So, $8 billion, at least? But weren’t we saving money?

• And for what? Remember that at least part of this rationale is that MPs want to get from the Beehive to the Planes quicker. But will the MPs be able to actually get on to the underground motorway, seeing as it doesn’t stop on the way?

• It would help Wingnut et al go on holiday quicker, but they already live at the beach! So exactly HOW many people would use it?

• No more “Think Big”, but seriously, the last time we did that Muldoon almost bankrupted the country – this time Simeon may actually do it !

• And of course – not a single mention of a bus or a railway anywhere? Just solely cars and trucks only? Surely my watch has gone forward 2 weeks instead?