The Eye of the Fish

Maximus
September 10, 2012

Fashion squeak

And so it was, that on a blustery and wet weekend, the Eye of the Fish looked upon Auckland, and behold: found Fashion Week. A curious event, populated entirely by small, stick-thin girls, overly frou-frou mothers, and a gaggle of highly camp young men. Of red-blooded, standard gauge heterosexual men, there was no sign: which is odd, considering that the venue was stuffed from head to toe with the very cream of womenhood. Standard costume varied little: everyone has seen America’s Next Top Model, and so knows about sporting a pencil thin, thigh topping short skirt in black, headed off with a flouncy blouse to catch the eye. Black was compulsory. Feet, of course, were in heels: the taller the better, the more outrageous, the more compliments. If not shoes, then booties, or that new inbetweener known to some as shoeties. The flat sensible shoe was nowhere to be seen.

Actually, I lied about the clientele all being skinny – this being New Zild, land of the long wide crowd, not everyone was a stick-thin girl. There were a fair few bulging seams around the panty line. Big bottomed girls make the Rocking world go round, or so Queen said: in this country we must rock on quite hard, judging by the sheer amount of bulging buttocks on (near) display. Nothing wrong with a good pair of kiwi thighs, rippling with well-toned Les Mills honed muscles, although a different output from the fashion catwalks of Europe.

Décolletage, once de rigeur at these events, was absent this year – either due to the extreme youth and skinniness on display, or else because breasts really seem to have gone out of fashion. They can’t have truely disappeared (nope, just checked, mine are still there), but definitely appear to be off the radar for now, hidden, cosseted away, ready to make a reappearance at future fashion shows. So that’s my fashion tip for 2013 girls: put those puppies away, and focus all attention on the boots. Never mind that the boys care more about the bust than the bootie: this is fashion world, and it’s not for men. It’s definitely girls dressing up for girls, in clothes designed by gay men for a purpose to ostensibly snare a straight man, and so it’s no wonder that the men were dazed and confused. Or in this case, totally absent.

It got me thinking about what a strange thing fashion is, and how far removed from architecture it must be. Architecture must be targeted to last a life time, or many lifetimes, with a minimum 50 year life span for buildings – while a Nom D jacket only has to last a season. In one year and out the next. Architecture can’t match that, nor can it last in such competition. I was reading just the other day that fashion designers are starting to move into the architectural field, teaming up with architects to realize their fashion ideas on a larger scale. I couldn’t think of anything worse. The damage done to the world in the name of fashion – crocodile skin shoes, beaver pelts, huia feathers, not to mention just the sheer amount of everyday leather, cotton and synthetics – it just beggars description, let alone rational thought. The notion that your building may be So In right now, but is passé before the concrete has set – horror of horrors.

davidp
10 - 09 - 12

Two more important questions:

1. Is this (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9520245/British-designed-skyscraper-resembles-big-pants-say-angry-Chinese.html) a load of old pants, or is it “the greatest work of architecture built in this century”?

2. What is happening to the mechanics agarages on Vivian St opposite Dick Smith? The garages have moved out, the insides are stripped, and there is some work going on at the north end. There is a sign advertising Studio Pacific Architecture, but the news on their web site is just a list of awards they’ve won. And because they’re architects, every building wins an award for something.

starkive
10 - 09 - 12

If you are also wondering whatever happened to that nice Jeff Kennedy who used to run L’Affare, you may find an answer to both of your questions on that site. I hear a cafe/music venue is on the way – the first with significant architectural input since… what was it called – Metropolis?

Shame about the loss of the cantilever roof, though. Seems StudPac don’t go for the Googie aesthetic…

Maximus
10 - 09 - 12

davep – answers:
1 – yes, it is pants. Pity really – RMJM used to have a fine modernist aesthetic – now they’ve gone all silly. A large pair of pants seems perfectly suited to China though, seeing as they now make all the world’s apparel. Looks like you could just fit the Gherkin into that profile too….
2 – see answer by Starkive. That WAS going to be my next post – but he’s given away the punchline….

starkive
10 - 09 - 12

Sorry…

But, just imagine a little bit of this on Vivian:

http://timmcarneydamnit.blogspot.co.nz/2012/08/if-you-love-modern-architecture-you_15.html

Bunbury
10 - 09 - 12

I would argue that most of StudPac’s work is fairly Googie – take the Lobster Loos. Googie all the way, surely….

starkive
10 - 09 - 12

Ouch.

I think they might have been thinking more about the Mediterranean than the Valley…

http://www.visualphotos.com/photo/1×9594425/europe_spain_catalonia_barcelona_moll_de_la_fusta_621chi00019.jpg

minims
10 - 09 - 12

studio pacific is googie?

Bunbury to you I say thus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk

Bunbury
11 - 09 - 12

Did you just send me to watch Rick Moranis? Googie always meant to me that things were a little bit loud and silly, overly obvious shapes and vibrant colours. And built in the 50s, yes, of course. So – apart from the bit about the 50s, isn’t all that stuff applicable to the Lobster Loos?

starkive
11 - 09 - 12

Rick Moranis? Poor Wallace Shawn. All those years living in his father’s shadow – now this.

Withers
11 - 09 - 12

The Lobster Loos Googie? I don’t think so. More Noughties-era biomimicry with a touch of Nineties Blobitechture than Space-Age Jetsons. For that, you’d have to go to Ilam (http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3202/2942357916_e0afb8e84d.jpg – but not for long) or that happening hub of the futurist Waikato, Putaruru (http://www.teara.govt.nz/en/waikato-places/16/5).

Maximus
11 - 09 - 12

God, you guys really know how to get off topic, don’t you! There I go, carefully crafting a hauntingly evocative depiction of the cream of Kiwi fashion, and you end up discussing whether some non-speaking two bit actor is Rick Moranis or not. Sheeesh, I dunno. Although, speaking of my favourite Rick Moranis moment, it would have to be in Ghostbusters when he was the KeyMaster to Sigourney Weaver’s Gate Keeper…

starkive
11 - 09 - 12

Perhaps this will bring us back on-topic:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/87087166@N06/7974586569/in/photostream

Maximus
11 - 09 - 12

Its Him again ! That Wallace Shawn man ! Can’t figure out where I have seen him before, except for possibly: everywhere. His voice is more well known than his little pudding face. But yes: thanks for the fashion correction – but just how DO you find these snippets?

Maximus
11 - 09 - 12

Withers (your first name isn’t Bill, is it?). Two wonderful images, thank you, and maybe the good folk down at Studio Pacific would like to wade in with what the design influences were on the “Designer Dunnies / Lobster Loos”? Were they really “More Noughties-era biomimicry with a touch of Nineties Blobitechture than Space-Age Jetsons” or was it all just a bit of tongue in cheek?

lindsay
11 - 09 - 12

Breasts?

Maximus
12 - 09 - 12

Yes. Pectoralis major. But you do win the prize for the shortest comment ever…

starkive
12 - 09 - 12

Huh!

Maximus
12 - 09 - 12

!