….but I feel fine! With obvious references to everyone’s favourite Athens modern pop combo, we here at the Eye of the Fish world headquarters acknowledge that the end of the world is due to happen this Saturday, and so therefore this could quite easily be the Last Post, ever. Of course, some of our readers may be ascended into the heavens after that, while the rest of us stay here in the living hell that is New Zealand.
Earthquakes, mudslides, tornados and ACT party revivals aside, its not a bad place to stay and watch the onset of the end of the world – and given that we’re the first country to see the light, the rest of the world will be able to watch / listen in as we quietly blink out of existence. I’m reminded of the final line of one of my favourite stories from years ago, by Asimov or Arthur C Clarke, where a group of Tibetan monks had been working to inscribe all the possible names of God. Originally writing these in their monastry by hand, once they got a computer, work speeded up, and when they had finished the last page, the final line of the story was something like:
“One by one, without any fuss, the stars were going out.”
Which is nice.
Of course, if I wake up on Sunday morning and it is all just business as usual, then we may well be back. Well, at least I might be. Minimus and Philip already appear to have exited from the stratosphere. Maybe I should exit as well, but gosh, you know, there’s still just too much for a Fish to comment on – including the Stephenson and Turner designed tower for the centre of the city, and, oooh, let’s not give it all away just yet. We’ll wait for the end of the world first, and if you’re interested, here’s a helpful list of the ways that the world could possibly end, as noted by the Honest Hypocrite, talking about Sam Hughes:
#10 Total existence failure of the Earth
#9 Earth gobbled up by stranglets
#8 The earth sucked into microscopic black hole
(He references “The Dark Side Of The Sun,” by Terry Pratchett, but I encountered this idea first in a great short story written in 1974, The Hole Man by Larry Niven, where they accidentally drop one into the middle of Mars.)
#7 The earth blown up by matter/antimatter reaction
#6 Earth destroyed by vacuum energy detonation
#5 Earth sucked into a giant black hole
#4 The earth is meticulously and systematically deconstructed
(Perhaps to build something else useful, like a Ringworld, Dyson sphere or Matrioshka brain)
#3 Earth pulverized by impact with blunt instrument
#2 Earth eaten by von Neumann machines.
#1 Earth hurled into the Sun (with this list)
In Rome, they’re leaving the city in droves in case there is an Earthquake (as predicted) there on Saturday. Probably something to do with the Pope and his Nazi connections, but still, that seems a little extreme. There have been worse Popes before of course, including, perhaps appropriately, a Pope Urban. To my mind, Pope Suburban should get more of the hell-fire.
However, I have noted that all the planets are currently lining up (morning sky, about 5am, a string of planets flying in formation: Jupiter, Mars, Venus, and maybe a few more); and the moon appears rather full. Plus, that storm last weekend seemed like the rain storm to end all rain storms…. That, and the Queen visiting Ireland – its just all too much. Here’s another nutter’s take on the end of the world, who lists the end as December, not May:
– Asteroids, maybe even a new planet (it has its name: Nibiru) hidden for now in the orbit of the Earth, will come to strike our planet that day.
– Trinary System: The binary system coming to an end (example: blue-ray DVD) ternary system will be made by extraterrestrials and will revolutionize and update all our scientific and mathematical knowledge acquired to date.
– An excessive activity of the Sun will destroy all communications systems (this does not happen December 21, 2012, but will start earlier)
– The planet Venus will transit the last time during this century in our sky.
– There will be many natural disasters, storms, floods, earthquakes and super volcano (this does not happen as December 21, 2012, but will start earlier)
– There will be many wars (it does not happen as December 21, 2012, but will start earlier)
– The Earth will change axis.
– The Thirteen Crystal Skulls Maya (made in the nineteenth century) we will issue a message Dec. 21, 2012 they are all together.
– The aliens are coming down to Earth and will take the best of us (finally some good news)
– The Earth will leave its orbit and drift into the universe for 26,000 years (unlikely).
– Following the financial crisis, the money shall become void and will trade with shells, it is preferable to shellfish stocks now.
– The Earth’s magnetic field is reversed. Protect your mind with the hassles of magnetic beads.
– The Maya prophesied happened to land on that date that corresponds to the end of their calendar.
– Many crop circle (drawings in fields cultivated by pranksters extraterrestrials) are warning messages.
– Nostradamus speaks in his prophecies.
– The Bible also proclaims the end of the world.
– Many religions speak of this event.
Hmmmm. Load of old tosh I say. See you on Monday.
What worries me is the thought that it will be Saturday here before anywhere else – except Samoa (I think). Does this mean that New Zealand will once again be a social laboratory for the world? Women’s suffrage, social welfare, Rogernomics, Y2K… the Rapture.
Can’t wait for the news on the S&T tower – it’s a pity it will come after the end as I too intend to exit (or at least head for an overseas jaunt).
The thing – more than anything else – that makes this sound like a load of rubbish is that apparently it’s all going to happen at 6pm. 6pm where?
In California, from where Harold Camping spouts this nonsense?
Spot the problem – we’re pretty much done with Saturday here in NZ by the time it’s 6pm on the 21st in California.
However, perhaps this means the destruction of California at 6pm on the 21st? I can think of worse things to happen…
We’re assuming that S&T will outlive the Apocalypse, seeing as they are as old as Methuselah anyway. And I’m sure you will still be able to pick up the Fish in the ether that remains after the Rapture….
I’m intrigued to see that the end of the world as a binary system is forecast on the basis of Blu-ray disks coming into use. But it’s not just computers that have binary coding. So much of our world is divided up into 2 halves, rather than 3 thirds. We currently have 2 sexes, will we have 3 in the future? Is the ascendance of transgendered peoples a sign from god that the end is nigh, or are they here to take over the world ? Are the 13 Mayan crystal skulls really going to open their crystal jaws and speak to us in December? Seeing as they probably only speak Ancient Mayan, and we don’t, will we be able to understand their message, or as they just like a giant crystal radio set with skull shaped transistors picking up ancient dinosaur transmissions like Dougal Stephenson on National Radio? So many questions, so little time.
“We currently have 2 sexes”.
ummm what?
transgendered people, along with intersex and other chromosomal differences have always existed. The only change is a reaction to a western european conservative model that only acknowledged 2 “Sexes”.
Yes, the world is ending. It’s been ending for the better part of 50 years. I don’t think there’s any coincidence that the people who are always proclaiming the end of days are always old white (and straight) men.
hmmm….
Probably purely coincidentally, but another event on the night at the End of the World is being held at Bodega Bar (the restaurant at the end of the universe), namely a grand paint off battle (actually just a regional semi-final) between 16 top Street artistes ie graffito-istas such as Drypnz. So: go to Bodega on the 21st, sniff those paint fumes, drink their fine selection of beers, and if it is the end of the world, you might just sleep through it after that.
Minimus – when I lived in Hackney in London, there was a fantastically nutty old Jamaican man who would everyday proclaim that it was the end of the world, including large and elaborate signs quoting the bible. He used to get quite excited and shout very loudly, while singing praises to Ja. In my humble experience, nutters proclaiming the end of the world come in all forms and colours, not just white.
The trouble with these apocalyptic cults is that they’re all too absorbed with the theology of the destruction of the earth and haven’t really been paying attention to the practical necessities. Thankfully the Internet is full of sensible, helpful and highly implementable ideas for how the earth might be destroyed: http://qntm.org/destroy
I particularly like some of the options, such as this one:
9. Pulverized by impact with blunt instrument
You will need: a big heavy rock, something with a bit of a swing to it… perhaps Mars.
The apocalyptic worldview springs from a desire to reconcile two conflicting beliefs.
“The first is that there is something dreadfully wrong with the world of human existence today,”
“On the other hand, there is a sense that there is a higher good or some purpose for existence, a hope for a better future.â€
Lorenzo Di Tommaso
They are taking this Rapture thing very seriously over there in crazy god-fearing (literally) USA land. I hadn’t realized it was going on to this extent really – but the nutty old coot who has been telling everyone it’s the end of the world has his own TV station and pulls in $80million a year. Now, of course, given the non-appearance of the apocalypse, people are talking of suing him:
“If the world doesn’t end may 21st, can we sue the people who put up the billboards for false advertisement?
I mean, especially if someone believes them, and has monetary of [sic] other losses, because of being told the world was going to end…. Maybe their [sic] would be less false Prophets, if they were held monetarily and legally responsible for their false testimony and how it effects other people’s lives? What if people don’t bother paying their taxes, because the world is going to end? Shouldn’t the IRS hold the Billboard people accountable for fraud, and pretty much telling everyone not to worry about paying their taxes, cause the world is going to break in half, anyway? I think less people would make up false ending dates for the world, and everyone wouldn’t always be having to hear the next theory about when exactly the sky will be falling next, if they were held legally accountable to the results of their testimony, don’t you?”
Apocalypse followers shocked as nothing happens
Last updated 13:28 22/05/2011
Robert Fitzpatrick spent more than $140,000 of his savings on posters and advertisements warning of the May 21 Judgement Day.
As he stood in Times Square in New York, surrounded by onlookers, Fitzpatrick, 60, carried a bible and handed out leaflets as he waited for Judgement Day to begin.
When the hour, 6pm New Zealand time, came and went, he said: “I do not understand why …,” as his speech broke off and he looked at his watch.
“I do not understand why nothing has happened.”
With no sign of Judgement Day arriving as he had forecast, Harold Camping, the 89-year-old California evangelical broadcaster and former civil engineer behind the pronouncement seemed to go silent.
The apocalypse was predicted to begin in New Zealand and move west, so those in America could watch it on television.
“We know the end will begin in New Zealand and will follow the sun and roll on from there,” said Camping follower Michael Garcia, a 39-year-old father of six. “That’s why God raised up all the technology and the satellites so everyone can see it happen at the same time.” He said on Saturday he still had no doubt Judgement Day would come this day.
….
“I wouldn’t even entertain that question because there’s too much proof from the Bible,” he said.
Well you know what i think these people have no idea what they are getting themselves into they belive anything some old guy has to say and i think that somebody should do something. We don’t know not even the angels or the evil spirits know when the end of the earth is coming every body should just get back to their lives and not worry about it if it comes god will decide when it comes and he has a pretty well plan for those imposters as well. Yes all the earthquakes and tornadoes have been happening but that is just a part of nature and global warming think about it? But if it is then were in a hell of a ride crazy but oh well thats life.
I really hope Harold Camping’s neighbours all hid at 6pm, just to make him think he’d been left behind…