The Eye of the Fish

April 23, 2012

Shed 5 swims with the fishes now…

Well at last there is something urbanly relevant to talk about in Wellington. No, no, not the One Direction concert, which saw squealing levels at a rate high enough to make all the dogs in town howl in unison (just what is it with those squealy girls? Do they wear ear plugs for their own protection?). Nor the (laughable) fact that the NZ Property Council has nominated the awful Peak apartment block for an award (possible for smallest rooms in town). No, not even the fantastically assorted weirdness of cosplay at the Armageddon fest, which I really don’t get, but thoroughly enjoy that others feel the need to dress up and look like a prat. Sort of like Sevens, but without the drunken boorishness. Nor even the explanation of the Pod on legs that popped up a couple of weeks ago, was briefly talked about here, and is now revealed as a front for a proposed apartment block – presumably to cover up the ugly frontage of the carpark building behind. More on that one later, I’m sure.

But the showstopping news for me today is that the waterfront is being considered as a site for an underwater aquarium. On the face of it – that’s fantastic news. Simon Gault’s podgy little face is looking a bit glum though – if it goes ahead, he may lose his license to print money, otherwise known as Shed 5, apparently one of Wellington’s best restaurants. I’m sure it is too – for the prices it charges, it certainly should be – but I just don’t go there often as all they eat there is fish. And, you know, that might just hurt a little.

I’m puzzled, however, by the paper saying that they might have to close down Shed 5 to do so. Surely they can co-exist? Surely one is under the water, and the other remains above? Kelly Tarlton’s in Auckland is happily secreted away below the waterline in a series of old sewerage tanks, and people drive their cars happily over the top, unaware that a million hungry sharks are circling a mere foot or two below their tyres…

It is also a bit puzzling, as a couple of years ago now there was a competition for the Outer T of Queen’s Wharf, and a series of schemes were going to be taken forward and worked up. What’s happened to those? Is this all part of that? I’m confused! Can anyone shed some light?

24 - 04 - 12

Obviously you aren’t familiar with the Wile E. Coyote School of Urban Planning, the principle tenet of which is that if a development concept encounters any failure or conflict, it will be resolved by either scrapping the development concept; or destroying the conflicting development. It would be unthinkable to have multiple uses in a single area.

24 - 04 - 12

You may be right – I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic they’re looking for… What if they were to converge the two? Stay with me here…

A fish restaurant needs fish, right? And fish eat scraps of fish, right? What if the restaurant scraps were fed to the fishes, who then grew up big and large, and were fished out to serve in the restaurant? You could even fish for your dinner! A secret trapdoor in the floor, leading directly to the tanks (useful for when they start filming James Bond #53 here), where the sharks and other fish are. Talk about Fresh !

Seamonkey Madness
24 - 04 - 12

Isn’t that how Mad Fish Disease gets started? ;)

24 - 04 - 12

maybe we need more Sea-Monkeys! Actually, i think that while fish were made to eat other fish, cows weren’t designed to eat other cows…

andy foster
25 - 04 - 12

Hi Maximus

Sorry I haven’t had time to keep up with your excellent blogs on recent months, but hopefully we’ll put that to rights !

The Outer T plans were published on 27 Oct last year.
They came from the 6 top entries in the ‘Blue Sky competition’ and Wellington Waterfront then worked them up to what is displayed in that article. Because the process seemed to have disappeared without trace for many months I asked for councilors to be briefed in a public workshop on what had been done with the Blue Sky ideas. Don’t think you could call the proposal radical.

The big problem of course in doing anything is $$$. There is no provision in the waterfront company budget for spending on the Outer T – and we haven’t provided anything in Council’s Long Term Plan either.

Keep up the good work.

Warmest regards

Andy Foster
City Councillor

25 - 04 - 12

Thanks Andy, helpful to have those comments out there. I’m happy with the Council keeping their money to spend where it is needed most. At present, seems to be a lot needed on EQP buildings coming up !