What Wellington needs now, in these troubled times, is a giant Wellywood sign.
First there was Hollywood. They had a vision, they had a sign. Just a big old thing made from corrie iron, shoved up on the back of some bloke’s farm. Quite large though, so it could be seen for miles. We could do that. We’re good with corrie iron, and I’m sure the council could run with the budget. Somewhere where you could see it from the airport. Seems to have caught on in Los Angeles – quite a few people have come to see it. Apparently the town has grown quite a bit since they put it up. Can’t just be a co-incidence.
Some time later there was Bollywood, and they must have had double vision. Their sign is not as flash, but the name really seems to have caught on.
Beats 90210 hands down. Hands up, hands down. Shimmy shimmy shimmy. Now shake it. Ooo yeah.
Even Mosgiel has a sign, because, well, they had some spare land and didn’t have quite enough sheep to fill it, so they got a sign as well.
The old towns of Budapest have a sign – imagine that – one sign, for two cities. There’s co-operation for you. It’s definitely orange enough, but just not big enough.
And ‘Sterdam has a sign, where you can do your best Colin Mcahon imitations, ranting bits of the bible at your friends, and scaring the neighbours cats with your giant paintbrushes. Ooh, and look, cyclists without helmets! Sacriligeous. They’ll probably be smoking pot too. How can they allow such lawlessness! This sign should probably be orange too.
And lastly, perhaps now that we’re embracing soccer properly, maybe we can have some big signs at the CakeTin, like this one, rather than the White Power ones we saw. That’s just an ironic slant that won’t go down well with our overseas viewers. Never mind that we’ll go out at the first round – we’ll go out as KKK wielding Nazi lovers, and we can’t have that. Oops, I mentioned Nazis – better stop now. Sorry, must be going!