Say what you like about this year’s election, to me it has never been so focused as it is right now, on one issue: the economy. Yes, it is only a week away – by this time next week we will know which of the Chris are looking to work with which other 3-5 minor parties, and try and sell us a story of unity.
Look Chris – either Chris – we know that the current Coalition of the Unwilling and the Undead is more like a coalition of mixed nuts and stale sausages. What would be some more exciting, interesting governmental mixups? Mashups? All the girls vs all the guys? Could we get Chloe, Marama, and Nicola to work together? They could all stand as one – vs Chris, the Other Chris, and yet another random Chris? Bald white guys unite ! Why don’t they take out a full-page advert in the name of Walter Wide and all stand there with dark glasses and bad shaped hats?
The real reason that this is the most lack-lustre election since Jim Bolger and his adenoidal henchmen stormed the balustrades and slid down the banisters of the holy house of Beehive, is that we have SUCH A BORING LINE-UP ! Good grief. Fuck me sideways with a spoon. Enough of the Chrises, we have a Chrisis! Cry Sis! Jesus wept, and so will I.
Nobody really cares about the government – we all just want to look after ourselves. What is the government doing to our Kiwisaver? What is Tiaki Wai pouring down the hole to stop the leeks? Why are the Welsh involved in our water-supply anyway? Why is CHEESE so bloody expensive these days, and why, if this is a uniquely NZ problem, is every other country around the world facing the same challenge at the same time? Clearly it is not the Politicians, the problem lies with the Money !!! And, by association, those who have more of it than you do.
Yes, the problem is the rich bastards who rule the world – the Oligarchs, the Petrochemical Dog whisperers, the Rocket boys with a Musky scent of foul doggy smells, the Putins, the Peter Thiels, the Mowbray family and their dammned helipad and so on ad infinitum. They have all the money and the rest of us have none to share.
Vote them out.
Kill the Rich and Eat their Babies.
One week to go.
