2025 Council Election things

Although I proposed to retire from the post of official Fish, it seems that the Eye of the Fish lingers on. We’ve had a couple of nibbles at the line, and a couple of offers from other fish who want to monetise it (no thanks – I think it is better off being the last plaice on earth that is free from the evils of advertising shite). But at present, despite my Ennui about the world, it seems that there is still a need for the Eye of the Fish to exist in the world – to offer some commentary on architecture and urbanism and design in Te Whanganui a Tara, in a world otherwise fairly devoid of good news.

Discussion One – the Bridge

So for a start, what to do about the Bridge? No, not the Auckland Harbour Bridge, not the Rialto in Venice, but instead the much beleagured City to Sea Bridge in Te Ngakau Civic Square. Yes – you had guessed that. I’m stuck in a hard place – between a rock and an unsteady edge to a lagoon – and I really don’t want to take sides. However, there are things to say, that may please nobody. I’m friends with both the old guard who originally designed Civic Square, and the new guard who have the new role of redesigning Te Ngākau Civic Square. Neither of them will be happy if I come down strongly on one side or another. Some Things therefore – you can decide if they are Facts or merely Opinions.

Thing One – the Bridge is ugly. It is badly designed.

Thing Two – the Bridge is a piece of Art. It has art on it, and is living history.

Thing Three – the Bridge is an Earthquake Hazard and needs to be demolished. Some engineers say so.

Thing Four – the Bridge is not falling down at all, it is the Seawall that is at fault, and the old Capital E. Plus, it is not even a Building and so therefore technically inadmisable, so don’t quote that bullshit EQB Prone stuff at me. Other engineers say it is not prone in the slightest.

Thing Five – the way the bridge rises up from Civic Square provides an unwelcome abrupt closure to the sea view that could otherwise be available from the Square.

Thing Six – the steps up to the Bridge brilliantly close off the vista and assist with the closure necessary to the containment of the Square.

Thing Seven – the Bridge provides a great vista on which to stand and look out to sea from.

Thing Eight – the Bridge should be removed and a pedestrian crossing would provide a more democratic crossing point.

You see – nothing is as simple as Save or Demolish. All of those points have valid arguments. Yes, it is a Rewi Thompson design with carvings by Para Matchit, but that means these are iconic and could be removed. Yes, it is a badly designed ugly mofa of a bridge and the average 12 year old could design a better looking bridge than that. But the point is that it is there, and really does not need demolishing, and certainly the Council is spouting bullshit by claiming $36million to demolish it. That is just absolutely Trumpian-sized complete fantasy bullshit right there, compounded by an inept Council and systemically corrupt Traffic Compliance rubbish right there.

Probably a more realistic amount would be around $5million to demolish – close the entire road for 3 or 4 weekends and lift the pieces of the bridge off, wth some big mobile cranes. Job done, easily. The few bits of Para Matchit’s work on Weekend One, the flat slabs on Weekend Two, and the feeble (supposedly EQP) side walls to be knocked down on Week three.

The decision is, of course, highly political, and therefore should be delayed completely until the local Council Election. Just do it. No other decision is acceptable. The heavily besmirched reputation of Mayor Tory Whanau does not need to be smirched any further with dodgy “we are knocking it down now” statements. Don’t do it Tory !

Second Big Thing – Golden Mile

As fond as I am for a main street that favours people over cars, to spend $140million at this stage of our city’s political cycle, without having circulated a good working plan to the residents is a terrible idea. Let’s step back for a second. Why are “we” (the Wellington Council, on behalf of the Wellington residents) doing this? The ORIGINAL plan was to build a high-speed, rapid-transit, public transport spine route, right?? Remember that? My forebears, Maximus, Leviathan and others debated this heavily and thrashed it out in public for years at a time. We NEED an extension to the Metro Train lines that end at the Wellington Railway Station, and for a brief while there was a time when enough people put their brains together and said – yes, for Wellington to blossom and survive, we can’t keep on doing just buses down Lambton Quay and cars everywhere else. We need a PROPER rapid transit system, and that needs a separate route, so it can move swiftly from Bunny Street to the Airport and to Island Bay.

Once you remove those key driving principles from the equation, nothing much makes sense any more.If all we have is buses down Lambton, what is the point in putting more buses down Lambton? It is already clogged like an aorta of a chip-eating fat boy, about to fall dead from a well deserved heart attack. Is there any point at all in routing a few more buses down the Harbour Quays as well, given that they are just going to run into the plethora of Pedestrian Crossings that we have been installing across this very route?

The issue is NOT the removal of cars from Lambton Quay and Willis Street – there is already very little traffic there – but instead the issue is a very valid “How do businesses get their goods to their shops to sell?” and the equally valid “How do my customers get in here to pick up the things they have bought?”. Until whatever design agency that replaced LGWM comes up with a valid public answer to that question, I would argue that they have ZERO public mandate to proceed. Ubers and Didis are not public transport, so they should be denied access to the bus lanes, but where exactly would they go to drop people off and pick people up? What hours would delivery trucks be allowed on the network to deliver burgers to Burger King, and the latest crap fashions to Farmers, boxes of big bras to Bendon, and buses full of burghers to their brunch at Astoria ? Answer me that. Show us on a map. Publish letters from businesses saying “Yes I have been consulted with and I am happy at the proposed results.” THAT, my WCC friends, is what true consultation requires.

An example, to illustrate my point: a friend of mine in a distant country, had a scheme to close off a major road, to create a major public square in London. It took them three years to get the written permission from the over 300 “interested persons and organisations” before it could be done – and now everyone says it was a brilliant move and such an easy decision. It actually takes a load of hard work – and public transparency, to make it work.

Thing Three – Who should be Mayor?

That’s an easy one – there is only one logical answer – it should be Andrew Little. He is the only competent candidate this time. Anyone voting for anyone else is an idiot.

I have no idea who should be the Councillors however – there are no posters for candidates in the Central area. Your thoughts?

Thing Four – Height limits vs Character areas.

We’re lucky so far, that the Brown Bishop combo has kept its heads out of Wellington’s affairs (so far). The Aucklanders are having kittens over the prospect of 15 storey apartment buildings next to Mount Eden villas. But no doubt Bish will one day remember us, and act. There is currently no danger of 15 story towers next to our High-speed public train stations, as Simian Brown canceled all the PT prospects. No stations, so no high-rise actions? But when will that all change? And what should it change to?

Your views?