The Eye of the Fish

April 1, 2019

University changes name to ‘Eye of the Fish’

In a surprise move this morning, Victoria University head honcho Grant Guildford announced that he had decided not to pursue his ill-fated name change policy and instead would try a different tack.

The previous University plan was to change the name of the University from: “Victoria University, of Wellington” and to simplify it to “Victoria, University of Wellington” with a subtle repositioning of the comma. At the same time, the Te Reo translation of “Te Whare Wananga o the Upoko o te Ika a Maui” was to be shortened to “Te Herenga Waka”.

In the dramatic move this first day of April, Guildford back-tracked, fish-tailed, slid sideways, and rebranded, all before breakfast. In a move of brilliance out-flanking even Jacinda Ardern herself, the University is to now take the original te Reo Maori name and convert that to English instead, with a slight tweak – instead of being the “The House of Learning of the Head of the Fish”, in deference to the continued resounding success of this blog, the University will now be known solely as “The Eye of the Fish”.

The authors of this blog approve this measure.

1 - 04 - 19

I understand McGill University is considering an injunction.

1 - 04 - 19

Saw this coming when Hipkins turned down the first effort, but the real question is when are you going to do your famous April 1st post this year?

2 - 04 - 19

In related news….

“Prospective headteacher Ezra Bridger said that the school’s religious ethos would “permeate all aspects of the curriculum”… “It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the school together.”

Some local parents have raised concerns that their children will be assigned to the school against their wishes.

One parent, Han, told the NSS: “I want my children to go to school with kids from all different backgrounds, to learn together and to be free to form their own beliefs. If we fund Jedi schools, then local Sith parents and Pastafarian families will be demanding their own separate schools.

“I don’t want my children being brought up in hokey religions.”

Aayla, a local Jedi, also expressed doubts, saying: “Faith based schools go against my Jedi values of non-discrimination and freedom of conscience. My message to parents is that these aren’t the schools you’re looking for.”
The Jedi school, which will be known as Luke’s Academy and based at the former RAF Cardington site, is expected to open on May the fourth.