The Eye of the Fish

Leviathan
April 1, 2020

LGWM chooses Pods

Early indications this morning are that Let’s Get Wellington Moving has chosen Pods as the main public transportation device for Wellington moving forward. Not originally considered to be a front runner option for Rapid Public Transport, with Light Rail and Bendy Electric Buses initially considered more suitable, it is thought that the intervention of the Covid-19 virus has altered the minds of the LGWM crew.

“POD (Personally Oriented Device) transport will be much more hygienic in our new VOW (Virus Out World), with a capability of only 2 or 3 people per pod and therefore less bang for your Bubble.” said Professor Flitwick, an advisor on the transportation project. Competitive pricing for Pod systems is now underway, with manufacturers of different systems being asked to put forward costing proposals.

“PODs are the hope for the future, and based on current traffic predictions the Pods will more than adequately cope with the lowered amounts of traffic on the roads.” continued Prof Flitwick. “It works like a charm. The great thing about it is that we’ve solved the conundrum at the Basin for once and forever.”

It is thought that LGWM’s plan is that the PODs will traverse under Mt Victoria via the old 1970s trial tunnel, only 6’6″ in diameter, by propelling the PODs through at high pressure and high speed, much like the barrel of a gun. It is possible that the LGWM plan will rely on the Pods popping out the end of the tunnel and oversailing the Basin without the need for a 250m long concrete flyover. Traffic in the reverse direction will have to be carefully timed and accurately aimed to succeed.

“Another great aspect of using Pods is the increase in hygiene and the potential for them to act as coffins if this Covid-19 virus pandemic gets worse. Because of their low passenger capability they can be easily flushed out and cleansed at the end of each run, with automated internal disinfectant systems (AIDS) installed. We’re delighted that AIDS will be throughout our populations, and the introduction of special hygiene specialists can be combined with roles as undertakers, enabling the Pods to be simply sealed and put straight into the crematorium in the case of rampant Virus infestation.”

“Our plague Pod doctors will have fetching new Virus-proof administrative protective gear, with a face mask consisting of a central aerated reserve for aerosol virus processing, and a colour-coordinated appearance to the typical outfit of trendy Wellingtonians,” continued Marcus Flint, one of the community advocacy commentators of the project. “We think that this will be a huge hit with the post-ironic media-savvy people of the capital, who will appreciate the fashion links to the last great world pandemic.”

“No longer will people have to go round the neighbourhood calling people to bring out their dead, which is always a social embarrassment to have to do, on a par with the old night-soil collections. We think that having a shiny new Pod call by to collect the body will be seen as an absolutely positive move by the Council and indeed, families will be queuing up to consign their elderly loved-ones to the Pod disposal system.”

“We see this as a positive end to the Wellington traffic countdown conundrum that has plagued the capital for years and with the current lessening of demand from the road to the airport, we now know that the Pod system can more than adequately cope with all the traffic.”

“There’s no need to spend all that money on a new car tunnel – cars are clearly no longer the future transport option for Wellington. We think that with this, we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is our combined future!”

60 MPa
1 - 04 - 20

But won’t someone think of the ecological angle? In the interests of sustainable cremation surely we will need flammable PODs for those who wish to immolate ecologically

Leviathan
1 - 04 - 20

I’m sure that can be arranged. Pods being made by Grenfell Tower incorporated…

starkive
1 - 04 - 20

Nice to see that some traditions survive even in the most straitened of times.

starkive
1 - 04 - 20

Nice to see that some traditions survive.

starkive
1 - 04 - 20

Nice.

Levi
1 - 04 - 20

Starkive – thank you ! 3 complements in one? Or have you just developed a stutter?
Some great discussion on Nga Taonga Sound and Vision (on RNZ this morning) – I hope you feel very proud of the legacy you have left behind there. Fascinating stuff.

Alan
1 - 04 - 20

No need for an April Fool’s post when we have someone like Shane Jones in control of anything. He is advocating extra roading projects as a way to soak up the impending unemployment boom. Roading projects use vast amounts of machinery using vast amounts of diesel, and staff costs are much less – we don’t have vast Gangs of men with shovels and wheelbarrows – it’s a very expensive way to employ people. Want to know a very people-oriented and low cost means of employment? Fruit picking. That’s where we should be concentrating our response on. He tangata. He tangata. He tangata.

Kumara Republic
1 - 04 - 20

In other news, the McGillicuddy Serious Party has announced plans to dust off the Great Leap Backward.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oxy1UJtlwaA

starkive
1 - 04 - 20

The second iteration arose from a strange glitch of the comments software. Once it appeared as a slimmed down version of the first, I felt it needed one more verse. It’s a question of perspective.

Levi
1 - 04 - 20

Architecture is always a matter of perspective…..

Levi
1 - 04 - 20

Kumara – that video is SOOOoo old ! I had no idea they ever had enough money to make an actual campaign advert. For its time, it was probably really sophisticated!!

Joseph
1 - 04 - 20

As a millenial, the Potter references really spoke to me. Thank you for this April cheer!

Leviathan
1 - 04 - 20

Aaaah, Joseph, I’m so happy to hear that ! You got them both then? Honest, i thought that it was all true !

Henry Filth
1 - 04 - 20

Will they be as comfortable as the pods they used to have at Masdar City in Abu Dhabi?

Hmmmmmmmmm. . . . way to go

Leviathan
2 - 04 - 20

Henry – “they used to have” ? Seeing as Masdar was entirely built around pods, then it would surely be catastrophic if they no longer have them. If you’re correct, then do you know what they replaced them with? This is huge news to me!

Andy Foster
2 - 04 - 20

You put an early smile in the day Levi – thank you.

The really interesting big question we should be thinking about is whether a post-Covid world will be different to the pre-Covid one, and in what ways. If we do the right things and get through this relatively quickly (not sure anyone is expecting it to only be 4 weeks lockdown)that will reduce the damage to our people, and our economy too.

However looking at what is happening overseas – every morning the grim reading is the climbing numbers of deaths especially in Europe and now the USA, but I suspect we will see other countries getting onto that curve – that means strong likelihood our borders will need to be effectively shut for a period of time – possibly until there is a vaccine. So that changes quite a lot.

Work patterns and therefore transport and urban planning patterns may change to a degree too.

Will we become more self reliant as an economy? That would mean a modest reversal of some of the Douglas reforms of the 80s.

Don’t know – but food for thought and discussion among the very intelligent readers of the Fish.

Thanks again for the post – actually for all your posts. Stay safe everyone.

Kind regards

Andy

60 MPa
2 - 04 - 20

The really interesting big question we should be thinking about is whether a post-Covid world will be different to the pre-Covid one, and in what ways.

For a start we could keep our old ventilator and supporting equipment “grandfathered” as we update to new stuff in the future, it would probably cost very little and could be ramped up easily if in need

Henry Filth
5 - 04 - 20

It’s just that the pods were looking quite shabby last time I was there – five or more years ago.

Leviathan
5 - 04 - 20

Mr Filth – I’m a little jealous that you managed to get to Masdar – I haven’t been travelling much lately (well, none of us anymore!) – any chance that you have pictures from when you were there? I remember seeing the renders of when they were going to start the city, but I’ve not seen anything of t actually built. I guess I should just search online – but if you want to write in or link to some photos, I’m always keen.

Henry Filth
5 - 04 - 20

How do I post photos on EOTF?

Henry Filth
5 - 04 - 20

Ah yeah, “contact us” at the top. D’oh! I’ll see what I can find. . .

Leviathan
6 - 04 - 20

Henry – yes, our email address for private comments and / or interesting photos / news is always:
contact @ eyeofthefish . org (remove the spaces first)

If you want (if anyone wants) you can put forward an article that we can stick up as a guest post – there has been a few of those over the years.

Julian
11 - 04 - 20

The post-Covid world will be the same as the pre-Covid world, except that the current crop of parents will appreciate the hard work that their horrid little snotrags’ teachers do.