It is absolutely fantastic that Minister Chris Penk (and others? Bish?) have listened to the people and proposed to do something about the terrible mess we have got ourselves in, in central Aotearoa. I’m sure you all know the back story – we’ve had the whole country quoting numbers that not many people really understand, such as “my house is only 30% of NBS” and “earthquake prone because we are under 67% NBS”. Further complicated by issues like the fabled Red Book and the infamous Yellow Chapter, of which the two did not agree with each other – difficult to find one exact number when there are two completely different ways of getting to the magic number. Sort of like, oooh, i dunno, asking for directions to the corner pub and getting two conflicting answers: “Thursday” and “Bi-polar”. No wonder we all went a bit mad.

But my new favourite Minister, a real pocket submariner, Mr Penk has come up with a solution that will satisfy just about everyone – scrap the whole silly system for most of NZ and make it only apply to a far more restricted set of buildings. You may be surprised to find this out, but which city do you think had the biggest stock of buildings that were EQ Prone and needed to be fixed? Guesses anyone? Wellington? No. Christchurch? No, all theirs have already fallen down. Wanganui? No, and Whanganui never even started to do theirs up – the whole town just said “tough, we can’t afford that, so we will do nothing.” So what is the city with the mostest then?

“Today, I am announcing a change to a fairer, risk-based system that will bring enormous relief by lowering costs for building owners, while keeping Kiwis safe. The Government is removing the New Building Standard (NBS) ratings currently used by engineers to determine whether a property is earthquake-prone. The NBS rates how an existing building is expected to perform in an earthquake compared to a new building and has proven too broad and inconsistent. A building’s overall risk status is determined by its weakest part, meaning even a small defect can result in an entire building being classified as earthquake-prone. The new earthquake-prone building (EPB) system will capture only buildings that pose a genuine risk to human life in medium and high seismic zones.”

Give up yet?

“This category includes concrete buildings three storeys or higher, and those constructed with unreinforced masonry. Auckland, Northland and the Chatham Islands will be removed from the regime entirely to reflect the low seismic risk in those areas. Unreinforced masonry buildings under three storeys in small and rural towns will no longer require remediation or warning notices, but owners must secure the façade before the building can be removed from the earthquake-prone register. This change recognises that the risk of a façade falling on a pedestrian is simply lower in communities with fewer than 10,000 residents than it is in larger urban centres, because there are fewer people on the streets. For buildings that still require some remediation, the Government is removing the rule that owners must upgrade fire safety and disability access at the same time as earthquake strengthening.”

Well, surprise surprise, it is Auckland. Two days ago there were thousands of buildings that officially needed to be attended to one day – now, today, with a stroke of the Ministers pen, not. single building in Auckland is EQP any more. Removed off the list entirely.

And Wellington, oh darling sodden broken Wellington, what of you and your residents? And their blasted buildings? What are we to do?

Well, apparently, we too have had a reprieve and lots of ours are off the list as well. HOORAY !! Of course, for many of us who have already paid the bill for the strengthening, there is a strong feeling of money down the drain, but also relief that we no longer need to pour money down that particular bunghole, but the crunch point has still to come: What will the insurance companies do?

Currently they charge like ye old proverbial wounded bull, but after today, will they relax their onerous tax on our homes?